Do you know that according to multiple studies, a lot of relationships has ended before, during, and after Valentine’s Day? Save your relationship by reading these 5 ways Valentines is ruining your love life.
Valentine’s Day is touted as a day to celebrate love. However, do you know that multiple studies have shown that couples are more likely to break up weeks before and after February 14? Sounds crazy, right? But this is not something that is made up.
Many people believe that Valentine’s Day should be celebrated by couples who love each other. However, if you are going to ask God, you would be surprised to know what He thinks about Valentine’s Day! Be sure to read my blog, “10 Simple but Powerful Reasons Christians Should not Celebrate Valentine’s Day.”
For those who are still thinking of celebrating Valentine’s Day, I want to share with you the different ways it is actually destroying your relationship rather than building it!
Here are the five surprising ways.
Are you ready? Read on to learn more!
1. Unmet expectation
With great expectation, comes great disappointments. Expecting something is normal, but if it has become unrealistic or illogical, you are setting yourself up for frustration.
Thanks to commercialism, many people have unrealistic expectations when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Some have this image of a “perfect” date spawned further by romantic fantasies from TVs and love stories.
Some women expect their man to think about something new – something that is better than what they had in last year’s Valentine’s Day. Some expect to receive chocolates, flowers, and cards. Some love expensive dinners and travel getaways.
There’s no doubt; many people feel entitled during Valentine’s Day. They feel entitled to receive something before they can give something. When they don’t get what they want and expectations are not met, then the relationship breaks down.
The problem with this thinking is that the value of the relationship depends on what each other get, rather than what each other could give.
If a person relies his or her happiness on the things that he/she can get from the relationship, then that relationship will eventually crumble down. It won’t last for too long.
2. Comparing relationship with others
Valentine’s Day has become a bigger celebration ever since we have social media. It has become easier for people to share their Valentine’s Day on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Since social media tends to highlight the best moments of people, it is not difficult to become envious of what others have.
The problem with comparing is that even if you had a wonderful time with your spouse, you would still tend to become dissatisfied with what you have once you see how great the day was for other people.
As they say, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” No wonder the Bible tells us that those who compare themselves to others are not wise (II Corinthians 10:12).
3. Intensification of existing problems
If you have past or existing problems, it can easily be magnified during Valentine’s Day. For example, if your husband doesn’t take you out for dinner, Valentine’s Day tends to magnify that problem during February 14.
If your wife isn’t sweet to you anymore, it can be brought up on Valentine’s Day. Not only that but past arguments and mistakes can easily be brought up as well like how you were not able to make her happy during last year’s Valentine’s Day.
A simple mistake during February 14 can easily become big and be a source of quarrel among couples.
4. Doing immoral behaviors
Let’s be honest: in today’s world, Valentine’s Day is not just for the married couples, but also for unmarried people who are in a relationship. The Bible is clear that having a sexual relationship should only happen within the confines of marriage. If you do, that’s called fornication or if you do it with a married person, then that’s adultery.
I know a lot of people who are born in November just because their parents had sex during Valentine’s Day. Now, there’s nothing wrong about that unless you’re not married. I know some people who have become a child out of wedlock just because their parents lied together on February 14.
For many unmarried couples, they use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to commit fornication. They believe since it is a day to celebrate love, they can now make love even if they are not yet married. Needless to say, many hotels are fully booked during Valentine’s Day.
If you try to go to school, even grade schoolers and high school students already have their “love life” at a very young age. Young girls carrying flowers on February 14 while walking with their boyfriend – a boy who doesn’t even have the ability to raise a family yet!
We read in the Bible how unrepentant fornicators won’t be able to inherit the Kingdom of God (I Corinthians 6:9-10). The Bible also told us that the body is not for fornication (I Corinthians 6:13), but rather we should present it as our living sacrifice to God (I Corinthians 12:1). Finally, the Bible beseeches us not to just walk away, but FLEE away from sexual immorality (I Corinthians 7:2).
So, how can you have a happy relationship if God does not bless it because of fornication or any other immoral behavior?
That’s exactly how Valentine’s Day is destroying your relationship by stealing God’s blessing to you!
5. Believing one big act of love is enough
Some people think that they can simply ignore their partner or spouse most of the time and simply make up for it during special occasions such as Valentine’s Day. A person can reserve their feelings and love for too long and then simply pour them all in one particular day.
Now, that’s a recipe for disaster.
Doing one big act of love occasionally shouldn’t be used as a replacement of the small acts of love that you should do every day in your relationship.
Sometimes, the smallest act of love occupies the BIGGEST part of your life. It is not the expensive gifts or dinners that make a relationship work. Rather, it is showing your love in everything you do. A simple act of gratitude, appreciation, and service can go a long way if done regularly.
Don’t let Valentine’s Day ruin your relationship
These are just five of the many ways that Valentine’s Day can potentially destroy your relationship. So, what’s the solution?
Don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.
A quick look at Valentine’s Day history and how it has originated from paganism should raise a red flag for us, Christians. It is not surprising to see how a pagan holiday can ruin our relationship because God does not even approve of it in the first place.
Please don’t forget to read, “10 Simple but Powerful Reasons Christians Should not Celebrate Valentine’s Day” to learn more why we should avoid Valentine’s Day and keep God’s commandment instead.
If you want to have a blessed and joyful relationship, make God the center of your life. You can do this by seeking His will and purpose for you.
Let God tell you how to make a relationship work. After all, God is love and you will have a better relationship with Him in charge.