Do you want to raise godly children? If yes, then you need to be a godly parent. So, how do you exactly do that? In this blog, let me share with you the 7 parenting principles inspired by the Bible!

The Most Difficult Job in the World

Brethren, let me ask you a question, “What is the most difficult job in the world?” Well, you might have different answers and some of you might and might not agree with the answer that I will give. If it is not the most difficult job, it could be one of the most difficult jobs. This job I’m referring to is a job that doesn’t give you a single dime. You don’t get paid for doing this job. There’s no sick leave or vacation. You might even have to do this job for the rest of your life.

The job I’m referring to is parenting. As we look at the world today, it seems we are seeing a lot of parenting failures. One thing that is prevalent is that children are growing up with only one parent or even no parents at all. People are not educated on how to become good parents. Although parenting is one of the most influential roles, we don’t even see it being taught in schools.

Our society has slowly departed from the biblical way of raising children. One because no one is teaching them and two, God is increasingly being ignored by society. Today, it’s easy to find parenting advice from certain experts, teachers, and even gurus. The goal was to help parents become good parents. However, that’s not enough. We don’t just need good parents, but godly parents.

A Message Not Just for Parents

So, what does it take to become godly parents? Why should we put too much effort into the future generation? How can we be more effective in the role God has given us in raising godly children?

That’s exactly what I want to discuss today. However, before some of you might think that this message is simply for parents, think again. I don’t want any of you tuning out simply because you don’t have a child of your own. The truth is, this message is for everyone.

This message is for parents, but also for future parents. You might not know it but your parenting training starts long before you become a father or mother. You know why because what you know and who you are today will definitely affect your parenting in the future.

This message is for you even if you don’t intend to have a child. Why? You never know when you will be presented with the opportunity to take care of a child, whether it is your nephew, niece, cousin, or even a child not related to you.

Finally, even if you won’t take care of a child, the principles I’m going to show you go beyond the parenting boundaries. These principles are applicable to different aspects of your physical and spiritual life.

So, I highly recommend everyone to listen carefully as you will surely benefit from this message. Now, I mentioned to you that I will share with you biblical principles. I’m not here to give you specific points, but rather an overview of what it takes to become godly parents. Every child is unique and I can’t cover every possible situation you might be in. However, you can use the biblical principles I’m going to share with you as a guide in every parenting decision you make.

Now, there are just so many biblical principles that I want to share with you. However, I have summarized them into 7 points. So, today, I want to share with you the 7 Biblical Principles of Godly Parenting.

📌 To learn more, read my blog, “7 Effective Parenting Verses from Proverbs that You Probably Don’t Know.”

1. Priority – How much importance do you place on your children?

One of the greatest changes in my life was when we had Caleb. If you think that getting married is life-changing, wait until you have children. You will never be the same again.

That’s why, I want to ask, how do you see parenting? Is it of high importance to you or not? If we are going to record the last two months of your life and we will watch it together, will I be able to conclude that your children are important to you or it is the other way around?

Now, I want us to read a Bible verse that is rarely used as a parenting verse, but today, I want us to look into this verse and see it through the lens of parenting. Let’s go to Matthew 6:19-21:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; ²⁰ but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

You see, brethren, we all have something or someone we consider as our treasure. Every day, we wake up trying to dig up and search for treasures that we consider to be of utmost importance to us. We go out there to seek treasures, but sometimes, we forget that our treasures are actually living with us all along.

You see, parenting is part of God’s work on this earth. We are called to raise future kings and priests in His Kingdom. When we perform our god-given role of parenting, we are actually storing treasures in heaven as well.

Sadly, a lot of parents today don’t see parenting as a top priority. Some parents simply leave their children to childcare or leave them to their nanny or grandparents. They have given up their primary role of being a parent and delegating it to other people. Some would even use gadgets and electronic devices to substitute for them.

Now, I’m not here to judge or condemn anyone. I know there are certain situations that would force us to make difficult decisions. However, the Bible is clear that ideally, it is the parents who should be taking care of their children.

Some parents would put more importance on their careers than their children. Some parents are so drenched and overworked that they don’t have enough energy and time for their children.

There are also parents who put more importance on their possessions rather than their kids. They are more worried about the cleanliness and orderliness of their house than their children so they unwittingly turn their house into a museum.

You probably have read or heard of this story before, but let me share it with you to illustrate my point:

While a man was polishing his new car, his 6-year-old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child’s hand and hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the Hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father…, with painful eyes he asked, ‘ Dad, when will my fingers grow back ?’

The man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of that car, he looked at the scratches, the child had written: “LOVE YOU DAD”.

Parenting demands a stark realization: it’s either a cherished treasure or it isn’t. Understand this: God won’t assign you the role of a parent without equipping you with what you require.

If your main concern is that you need to work hard to provide for your family, which forces you to spend less time with your family, then I can tell you, that God is faithful. He will surely provide what you need as long as you perform your role as a parent.

If you truly value your children, spend time with them. Invest in them because at the end of your life, the material wealth that you have acquired will never give you fulfillment, but it will be your children. Play with your children. Bring them to the park. Climb the mountain with them. Go for a hike. Personally help them with their school assignment. When I grow older, what I really remember about my parents are not the toys or things they gave me. It is the quality time we spend together when we are still small.

So, that’s the first biblical principle — Priority.

📌 To learn more, read my blog, “The Father You Have Sadly Forgotten.”

2. Ambassador — Are you an owner or a representative?

Godly parenting starts with knowing who you are as a parent. If you miss the right answer to the question, “Who am I as a parent?” you’ll definitely miss the true essence of parenting. Now, here’s the keyword I want you to focus on — godly. We say godly parenting because we want to be the ambassador for God in the lives of our children.

We read in 2 Corinthians 5:20:

Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.

Because we are ambassadors for Christ, we need to understand these 3 implications:

1. We must be good examples to our children.

When we read this verse, we don’t think so much of parenting, right? We think that being an ambassador involves being a good example to other people. Yes, it is important to be a good ambassador or example to others, but it is more important to be a good example to your children.

We have reiterated this over and over again, but I want to remind you. Your life should be a living testimony of what God’s way should look like. You can’t expect your children to believe you when you do the exact opposite of what you teach!

We teach our children to be polite and courteous when we don’t even show basic courtesy to our spouse. We teach our children to be loving, but we are not loving each other. We teach our children to be punctual when we too are always late. We teach our children not to lie, but we too always lie. We teach our children to respect authority, yet, we are the ones who are breaking basic traffic rules.

You see, your example plays a major role in your parenting. Every choice and decision you make, your children see them. They are like sponges and they will absorb those things.

2. We must represent God properly.

We are called ambassadors for Christ. What does an ambassador do? An ambassador represents the one who sent him. Parents, if you are going to be an effective ambassador for God, you need to faithfully represent who God is in the lives of your children. Now, let me ask you a question, how are you doing in this part of your parenting? Are you reflecting the love, mercy, and goodness of God in every interaction that you have with your children?

We need to ask ourselves, how would God exactly respond in this kind of situation? Do I need to be angry or should I be more patient? Do I need to shout or yell at my children or do I need to talk to them gently? Do I need to express my frustration and disappointment or do I need to extend God’s grace?

Brethren, let’s not forget who we truly are. We are the representatives of God. My deepest concern is that our children get the wrong idea of who God is because of how we talk and deal with them. If you think you’re not doing a good job in being God’s representative, it’s time that we evaluate our actions and realign our thoughts and actions based on God’s character.

3. We must see our children as belonging to God

Now, this is one of the most important points I want us to remember. As ambassadors for Christ, we must not forget that our children don’t belong to us. We don’t own them. Psalm 127:3:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Heritage here comes from the Hebrew word Nachalah, which means possession or inheritance. Basically, it is saying that children are possession or inheritance given by Yahweh.

One of the most prevalent misconceptions among parents is the belief that “These are my children, and I’m solely responsible for how they’re raised.” However, they aren’t solely yours; you’re merely a custodian. God entrusted them to your care because He desires them to be nurtured in a manner aligned with His teachings.

The trouble arises when we view our children as possessions. This mindset leads us to shape them according to our desires rather than God’s will. Instead of focusing on their growth, we may prioritize our own benefits.

When we regard our children as belongings, we’re inclined to impose our ideals upon them. Even before they’re born, we often have preconceived notions of who they should be. Yet, when we acknowledge our role as representatives of God, our motivations shift. We’re driven not by our own visions but by what God’s grace can do for our children.

Recognizing that our children are gifts from God shifts our focus. Rather than seeking what we can gain from them, we prioritize what we can provide for them. God intends for us to raise them according to His principles, not our own.

📌 To learn more, read my blog, “What Every Mother can Learn from the Life of Eunice and Lois.”

3. Rest – find peace in God’s identity for you

Have you ever wondered why a lot of parents are frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed, stressed out, and even always angry? It is because they try to establish their identity on their children rather than being secured in God’s identity for them.

What am I saying here? The point I’m making is that if you are looking at your children to give you value and identity as a person, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Let me set the record straight: not all good parents produce good children and not all good children come from good parents.

So, let’s discuss this further. What does it mean to establish your identity in your children? It means that you see your value as a parent based on the failure and success of your children.

When your child fails, you take it personally as if it was done against you intentionally. When your children disobey you, you feel like they are personally attacking you and thus, what happens? You respond with personal hurt and anger. This is a dangerous approach because when your children disappoint you, you tend to overreact and hurt them in turn.

Conversely, when your children achieve success and you’ve built your identity around them, you inadvertently transform them into trophies. There’s a tendency to showcase your children in public, seeking validation and applause from those around you. While it’s natural to share and celebrate your children’s achievements, the issue arises when you equate your own success solely with their worldly accomplishments.

We feel like successful parents based on the success of our children. We have this list of criteria to determine whether our children are successful or not. What this does is that your children have to bear the unbearable burden of pleasing you always instead of pleasing God.

And as your children get older, they begin to realize that much of what you have been doing has not been for them, but for yourself.

Some parents push their children so hard to the point that they compromise biblical principles. I remember some parents telling their children, that it’s okay to break the Sabbath all in the name of having a graduate in their family.

Now, here’s amazing — if you choose to get your identity from God, meaning that you believe that you are the Child of God, that you are accepted and loved by God, then you become more patient, loving, and merciful to your children.

We read in Galatians 2:20:

²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. 

It’s not all about me anymore. It’s not all about what I want or my will, but what God wants to fulfill in my life and that extends to how I rear my child.

Listen to this: parents who have established their identity in God have come to understand that parenting children will expose them to public misunderstanding and embarrassment. You know, when we started to notice Caleb that he has developmental delays, I personally had this feeling of shame. I kind of became shy about bringing Caleb to a children’s party, to bring him to a family gathering, and to bring him in the public. I know someone will inevitably notice and ask questions that make us uncomfortable. Yet, I realized, I wasn’t ashamed for Caleb, I was ashamed for myself. All along, I was getting my identity from Caleb when in reality, I should be getting that from God.

It’s essential to embrace the humbling reality of the task entrusted to us by God. We must recognize that as our children grow and mature in both life and godliness, they don’t become our trophies, but rather trophies of the Savior whom we’ve endeavored to serve. In this journey, it is God who does the work, and it is God who deserves all the glory.

When you have this mindset, brethren, I can tell you, it is such a freeing experience. It frees you from the constant expectations of people. It also frees your children from the unrealistic burden you put on them.

📌 To learn more, read my blog, “7 Wonderful Ways God is a Father to Us.”

4. Embrace the process

Parenting is actually a life-long process. It’s not a one-time event. It’s not something that ends when your child finally finishes schooling or when they have already married. Parenting continues on until your last breath.

We read in Proverbs 22:6:

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Notice that training your child starts early in life. You can’t postpone it. You can’t simply say, “Oh, I will spend more time with my kids when they are big or when I am retired from work.” That’s not how parenting works. Being with your children during their formative years is crucial. Those are the times when you can have the greatest possible influence on your children. Don’t waste these opportunities and take advantage of them.

Now, when I say that parenting is a process, you need to realize that it is not just your children who need to improve, but you must also improve. Parenting can dramatically improve your character, but before that happens, before it can improve your character, it will first expose who you truly are.

At first, I thought of myself as a patient person. However, when we finally had Caleb, I realized I wasn’t that patient as much as I like to think of myself. We have to realize this one thing is true: While God parents our children through us, God is also parenting us. This means that you should be humble enough when you are corrected. You see, it is not only your children who will learn from you. It is you who will also learn from your children. So, it’s a process of improving yourself and your children.

5. Nurture the heart

Now, here’s one of the most powerful and eye-opening lessons I learned in parenting. I want you to listen closely because this will actually help you approach parenting in a biblical manner.

Parents are not called to change behavior, but to change the heart. Did you get that? Our main goal is to change the heart and when we do, the change in behavior will follow.

You might wonder, why does my child don’t change? Why is it that even in spite of giving the best reminders, giving the best instructions, and giving the best laws and commandments, my child still didn’t change?

Do you know why? It is because all this time, we are aiming to change the behavior when what we should be doing is changing the heart!

First and foremost, our children do not have behavioral problems, but a heart problem. If you want to see lasting change in your child, you need to start with his heart.

That’s the reason that in the Bible we read Ezekiel 36:26:

²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 

It didn’t say, I will give you a new behavior, but rather, a new heart. Why? Because all the actions of your children stem from his heart.

If the heart of your child does not change, his behavior won’t change for very long. A lot of parents don’t understand this. Thus, when they discipline their child, they try to shout, spank, and threaten quickly.

Of course, that immediately changed the behavior of their children. However, the change does not last long. If you want to really change the heart, every moment of discipline and correction must be accompanied by instruction.

We read in Proverbs 22:15:

¹⁵ Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of correction will drive it far from him. 

You see, the greatest danger for our children is what’s inside of them. When we change our heart, it will be more difficult for Satan to destroy and influence our children.

You need to help your child understand why his behavior is wrong. You need to explain how it actually breaks God’s commandments. You need to show your child that wrong behaviors could lead to sin and that is sinning against God. Every opportunity of disciplining your child is an opportunity to change his heart. Most of us will not say, “Oh, thank God for this opportunity to teach.” Rather, we are filled with anger saying,”Oh, wait until we get in the house. I’ll surely spank you and scold you so much that you will finally change.”

The ultimate aim of parenting extends beyond mere instruction on right and wrong; it’s about instilling within children a genuine desire to consistently choose what is right.

📌 To learn more, read my blog, “How a Father can Make a Positive Impact in their Children’s Lives.”

6. T – Trust in God’s Power

Parenting is no doubt one of the most challenging jobs on earth and if you’re going to rely on your own power, you will surely fail. You see, brethren, God calls us to become parents and at the same time, He supplies the power that we need. We need supernatural power to truly raise our children according to God’s will and purpose.

Acts 1:7-8 tells us that God gives us the power through His Holy Spirit:

7 And He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority. 8 But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” 

The problem happens when we rely on our own power tools and let me just give you three of the most common power tools parents use to change their children:

Fear

The temptation we often succumb to is believing that we can enforce change through imposing significant threats, fueled by fear. Why do we resort to threats? Because, momentarily, they seem effective. Picture this scenario: as a towering adult, your imposing presence, coupled with a stern demeanor, can easily evoke fear in your child, who is much smaller in comparison.

However, it’s crucial to realize that threats seldom result in genuine transformation. Rather, they prompt children to merely sidestep consequences, without internalizing the desired behavioral change. Remove the threats or if they find ways to disobey unnoticed, they revert to prohibited behaviors.

The truth is, as children grow older, they become immune to parental threats. If threats have been your primary method of control, this realization can be both unsettling and disheartening. Suddenly, the tool you’ve relied on for years loses its effectiveness.

Reward

We often resort to manipulation by dangling enticing rewards in front of our children to coerce them into complying with our desires. However, this tactic should not be confused with God’s righteous method of motivating obedience through the promise of spiritual rewards. Instead of appealing to their spiritual growth, we exploit their desires by offering something they covet, saying, “If you do _____, I will give you ______.”

While incentivizing good behavior can be beneficial, it’s essential to recognize that solely focusing on altering behavior without addressing the heart will yield temporary results. Once the reward is received, children may revert to their previous ways. Moreover, this approach inadvertently teaches children to obey for the sake of personal gain rather than out of genuine conviction. Ultimately, nurturing a change of heart will lead to obedience rooted in principle, transcending the need for external rewards.

Shame

Shame and guilt are frequently employed by parents as potent tools, often without full recognition of their impact. These emotions hold significant power because every child inherently desires acceptance, appreciation, and love from their parents. Consequently, guilt and shame can serve as effective short-term mechanisms of parental control.

However, as children grow, they may begin to distance themselves from their parents to shield themselves from the burden of these negative emotions, disrupting the parent-child bond.

Rather than relying on these human tools of control, it’s imperative to lean on God’s redemptive power to facilitate genuine transformation in our children. God understood the daunting nature of parenting and assured us of His presence throughout this journey. He provides the strength, faith, and courage needed to persevere.

It’s not our weaknesses that should concern us, but rather our illusions of self-sufficiency. Believing in our own independent strength is a deception that prevents us from finding rest and relying on the true power available to us through the grace and presence of the One who entrusted us with the sacred responsibility of guiding our children.

Indeed, as a parent, your ultimate hope does not lie in your own strength, wisdom, character, experience, or achievements. Rather, it rests solely in one thing: the presence of Yahweh. The Creator, Savior, Almighty, Sovereign King is by your side, guiding and supporting you. Allow your heart to find peace and rest in His unwavering presence.

📌 To learn more, read my blog, “How a Father can Make a Positive Impact in their Children’s Lives.”

7. Show Yahweh

Here’s something you should keep in mind: when left alone, your children will never see God. They can see the creation, but not the Creator. That’s why, as a parent, you need to show them the existence of God!

The most important thing your child should learn is not science, math, history, or economics. It is knowing who God is!

We read in Deuteronomy 6:6-9:

6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 

In short, we need to grab every opportunity to introduce Yahweh to our children. This opportunity could be when you are watching a beautiful sunset. This could be when you are eating a delicious meal. This could be when you are on the beach when you are eating together, or when you are going through difficulties in life. Don’t let a day pass without doing it and don’t feel that it’s weird to talk about God all the time.

Now, here’s what amazing, which I believe most of us tend to forget. I want us to read this verse, which I think most of us don’t think much when it comes to parenting. Let’s go to Matthew 28:18-20:

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

When we read this, we think of making disciples in the world, which is of course, what we should do, but when doing so, we must not forget about making disciples out of our children. As parents, God has called us to be a tool in His hands to train our children to become disciples of our Savior and Master Yahshua. This is more important than any accomplishments they may have in this world. As parents, our greatest accomplishment is to see our children give their lives to God.

Final words

There you have it, brethren, the 7 Biblical principles of Godly parenting. Just to recap, here are the seven principles:

1. P – Priority
2. A – Ambassador
3. R – Rest in God’s Identity
4. E – Embrace the process
5. N – Nurture the heart
6. T – Trust in God’s Power
7. S – Show Yahweh

If you take the first letters of these principles, it’s going to spell out the word, PARENTS. I hope that will help you to better remember the principles you can apply in every situation of your parenting.

Indeed, parenting can be tough, but it is fulfilling. It doesn’t just change your child, but it also changes you. Through parenting, God teaches us how to become a better and more faithful servant in His hands. Whenever you need help, always come to God. He is more than willing to help you in your parenting roles. In the end, it is my sincerest hope that we become God’s tools in His hands to perform His will and purpose here on earth.

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