Let’s be honest for a moment.
Forgiveness sounds beautiful… until you actually have to do it.
It’s easy to talk about grace when you’re not the one carrying the deep wounds. But when someone hurts you—betrays your trust, wounds your soul, crushes your spirit—suddenly forgiveness feels more like a mountain than a miracle.
Maybe that’s where you are right now.
You smile, go to church, say “I’m fine,” but inside, your heart is tangled in bitterness. You want to forgive… you know you should… but the pain whispers, “They don’t deserve it.”
And maybe they don’t.
But neither did we.
Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting
Let’s clear something up. Forgiveness does not mean you’re pretending nothing happened. It doesn’t mean excusing evil or letting someone hurt you again.
No. Forgiveness isn’t minimizing.
It’s releasing.
It’s saying, “What you did hurt me, but I refuse to carry this poison anymore.”
Because that’s what unforgiveness is. Poison.
It doesn’t just stay in one corner of your heart. It spreads—into your joy, your peace, your prayers, your relationships, your sleep. And worst of all… into your relationship with God.
Yahshua Knows Your Pain
He’s not asking you to do something He hasn’t done Himself.
On the torture stake, beaten, mocked, humiliated—what did He say?
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” – Luke 23:34 (NKJV)
That wasn’t weakness. That was a strength beyond measure.
And He gives you that same strength.
Forgiveness is not a feeling—it’s a choice. A decision you make not because they deserve it, but because you’ve been forgiven much more.
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
“But I’ve Tried… and I Still Feel Angry”
I hear you. Forgiveness isn’t always a one-time event. Sometimes, it’s a process. You may need to forgive them every day for a while. And that’s okay.
Forgiveness isn’t about pretending the hurt is gone—it’s about choosing not to let it control you.
It’s not about trusting them again—it’s about trusting God enough to release them.
Here’s Why You MUST Forgive
- Unforgiveness chains you to your past.
The person who hurt you may have moved on, but you’re still stuck. Don’t give them that power. - Unforgiveness blocks your prayers.
Yahshua said plainly: “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” – Matthew 6:15 (NKJV) - Unforgiveness poisons your spirit.
It turns you into someone bitter, resentful, and hard to love. That’s not who you are. That’s not who God called you to be.
So, How Do You Actually Forgive?
Let’s make this real. Practical. Possible.
1. Be Honest with God.
Tell Him exactly how you feel. Cry if you must. Rage if needed. He can handle it. Pour it out. Don’t sugarcoat it. Be raw.
2. Remember the Cross.
Go back. Picture Jesus hanging there. For you. For them. Let that image soften your heart.
3. Say It Out Loud.
“Father, I forgive ____. I release them. Help me do this, even if my heart isn’t there yet.”
4. Bless Them.
This one’s hard. But it’s where the breakthrough happens. Pray for them. Even if it’s just, “Lord, open their eyes.” Watch how your heart begins to change.
5. Repeat as Needed.
This isn’t weakness. This is war. Some wounds need daily surrender. Keep at it. God sees every step.
You Can’t Do This Alone
And you don’t have to.
The Holy Spirit is your Helper. When your strength runs out, His begins.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)
You don’t have to wait until you feel ready. Forgive in faith. Obey in trust. And healing will follow.
⚠️ Would you like to learn more about forgiveness? If yes, then join our Bible study series, “How to Live a Victorious Life.” In this guide, I’ll walk you through the different principles of how to live this life to the fullest through the power of God in 31 days. It’s completely free, but the lessons are priceless. Join us now!
Final Word: Don’t Let That Pain Define You
You are not what happened to you.
You are a child of the Most High.
You are called to rise above—not because you’re better, but because He is greater.
You’re not just letting someone off the hook. You’re letting yourself go free.
So today, even if it’s hard… even if it takes everything in you…
Choose forgiveness.
You’ll never regret it.
🙏 Friend, was this message for you? Don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who’s battling the same fight.
📩 And if you need prayer, don’t hesitate to reach out. You’re not alone in this.
Let go. Breathe. Be free.
Yahshua is with you.
About the Author
Joshua Infantado is a Christian blogger and Bible teacher who has been writing faith-based content since 2013. He is the founder of Becoming Christians, where he shares blogs, books, videos, and online courses to help believers grow in truth and grace. Joshua lives in Davao City, Philippines with his wife Victoria and their son Caleb. Contact him at joshuainfantado@gmail.com.