Why Every Woman Should be Modest

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (I Peter3:3-4).

In a world full of temptation, for a man, a girl dressing to provoke SEXUAL temptation is too hard to resist. Talking from a man’s perspective, I honestly can testify the battle that rages within a man who tries to overcome temptation — that is if a man still fighting the temptation!

It is really not a great surprise that those women who dress with a poverty of fabric are popular in schools, clubs, offices, and other public places. Who would not turn their heads as a sexy woman walks down the street?

Harmless fashion?

At first glance, this might not be a big deal for many and even for the women herself. But is it really harmless? Does the society have gone too far to accept this as a part of the social norm? Has our conscience become so numb and seared with a hot iron that we let this type of thinking permeate the fabric of our civilization?

Everywhere we go, we find pictures of semi-nude ladies posing and being proud of their body. We find them on the Internet, billboards, books, magazines, television programs, advertisements, beauty pageants, and the list just goes on and on. They go with the popular if-you-have-it-flaunt-it belief. This society glorifies beauty that is only skin deep and not appreciating the real beauty that NEVER fades away.

And we come to face the hard facts and statistics that PLAGUE our society.

We wonder WHY we have more women being raped!

We wonder WHY more marriages are ending in divorce!

We wonder WHY more women become less confident and inferior!

We wonder WHY this society is heading in the wrong direction! If we are really getting brighter and more intelligent, we still fall short in solving most elementary problems. Instead of solving them, we even make things worse!

If we are really getting brighter and more intelligent, we still fall short in solving most simple problems. Instead of solving them, we even make things worse!

What happens inside a man’s brain?

Let’s face it: we, men, are VISUAL CREATURES. We are ignited with what we see. While most women might not be visual oriented, they must never think that we are wired the same way as they do. We have internal processes that are 180 degrees opposite to women.

When we see a girl with a part of her breasts peeking and a part of her upper legs showing, from men who aged 13 years old to 85, we find it hard to PREVENT our heads from turning.

Fashion designers know this and they tend to capitalize on what seems good to them and not really what’s good for men.

Is it really that bad?

If you are a woman who believes in the word of God, the answer is obvious: it is exponentially bad.

Immodest dress is complete SELFISHNESS. Dressing less than what you should is the failure to recognize the weakness of us men.

If you continue to dress any way you like, you are attracting not only that cute boy next door but also that old man across the street! Aside from being selfish, this is a SIN. Dressing to get attention from other people and thinking that it is our problem and not yours is really a bad mindset and deception.

You are given that beautiful body from God and you have the responsibility to use it according to God’s intention. Dressing sexually makes you a stumbling block to others, and you know what Jesus said about being a stumbling block?

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones (those who are weak in faith) who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung round his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea” (Matthew 18:6).

Jesus later adds, “But WOE to the one by whom the temptation comes” (Matthew 18:7)!

The plain truth; Jesus is very SERIOUS when it comes to being a stumbling block and causing others to sin. That is how serious your choice of dress is!

Additional negative effects of immodesty

If you dress immodestly, you will surely draw attention from other people. You create a sexually charged environment around you. You send the message to all the men that you are up for grabs. You give them the permission to treat you SEXUALLY and give them the go signal for sexual pursuit.

DRESS SEXUALLYand you will be dealt with sexuallyPlain and simple.

So when we see too much flesh, we take that as an invitation — an invitation to look at you like a piece of meat. Something that we can look, touch, and take home to enjoy. I am sure you do not like that.

IMMODESTY BREEDS DISRESPECT.

Do you want men to love you just because of your appearance and not who you really are? Because I am sure, by the time you reach past thirty or even have children, you will not look the same way as you are in your sweet sixteen.

Choose someone who will love you because of your inner beauty and not just because of what you can offer them physically.

So what should you do?

The answer is clear; you need to make sure you dress according to God’s standard.

When you choose which dress to buy and wear, choose the dress that will HONOR God your creator. When you try to follow the advice from the Bible, you make an 180 degrees turn from being selfish to being someone who “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility considering others better than herself” (Phil. 2:3, paraphrased).

Remember the words of the Apostle Peter: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (I Peter3:3-4).

When you have that mindset, you begin to be more concerned about the people around you rather than being self-centered and wanting to have attention drawn to you.

So please, let’s make this a better world, ladies. Be the right woman that will attract the right man. This can be achieved through dressing appropriately and living according to God’s standard.

Do you think modesty should still be applied in our lives? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below. Make sure to share this blog if you find it helpful.

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11 thoughts on “Why Every Woman Should be Modest

  1. I agree to a certain extent. God created women to beautify themselves and feel good. He created us naked but with sin, we found shame in that.

    I’m an evangelist and I do fitness and bikini modeling at the age of 52 yrs yg. That is a huge blessing. God creates us to reach the people alike.

    He didn’t intend for us to cover our heads and wear dresses down to our toes.

    That’s a religious belief. God is greater than religion. He is not put in a box and as His children we are not either.

    The bottom line is that a man with a sexual problem needs to address that ailment. For, I’ve been told that wearing jeans or a long dress still can entice a man who doesn’t have a strong bond with God.

    I glorify God with all the talents and gifts He’s given me.

    Of course, I wouldn’t preach at a church with a bikini on.

    Blessings, Emma
    Ps There’s a time and place for everything. In Europe, the people sunbathe nude and the men are raised with looking at all shapes and sizes. They don’t even stare. I think in America, we lost something.

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    • I personally believe that woman should dress modestly. I agree with you when you say men should address their sexual problem. But, women should make sure that they don’t serve as a stumbling block to other men. We must base our beliefs on what God says in the Bible and not what America or Europe dictate.

      Well, if you can honestly say that God does not care about what we wear because that is just “a religious belief”, then I think we are just justifying ourselves. Modestly is not about covering from head to foot. Modesty is about dressing to honor God. I know this can be a subjective topic and I believe God looks in the heart and motivation of a person.

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      • My reference to covering from head to toe was in line with religions. I’m spiritual and led by the spirit like Joel Osteen and his father are and were. They both have and had a major presence for God’s Glory, had because Joel’s dad has passed.

        The bible can be interpreted in so many ways. However, we must take note that the bible is a living piece. Living means to me as time transcends, so things don’t apply or get altered.

        For example, I read in the old testament the following :
        “If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour’s wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you” (Deuteronomy 22:23-24; emphasis mine).

        I know God is against killing your spouse even if she was divorced, cheated, etc.

        There are gay and transgender folks reaching 30%, God loves them just the same.

        We are called to love our neighbors as if they are family.

        I reach the broken, hurting and those lost and in despair. I allow God to work miracles through me . He knows our hearts just as you said. I think Spain in particular have the right idea. It’s originally the way God intended for us to be but Adam and Eve sinning brought shame to the body.

        Blessings, Emma

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  2. One thing that’s important is to keep in mind the context in which these verses were written. Two thousand years ago, in the ancient middle east, covering up was something that went without being said – so the modesty that is talked about in these verses is of another kind – it was to wear cheaper fashions and less ostentatious clothing and less attention-grabbing hair-styles. For those women, how they wore communicated what social status they had and how wealthy they were – the richest of them would wear braided hair with gold woven into it, gold jewelry with precious stones, and fine clothing full of colors – making it more expensive. They would go to church and stand out when compared to the poorer women who were slaves and their simple, drab, clothing showed that they were basically nobody who would feel out of place and unwelcome. It wasn’t about sexiness, it was about status: being a poor slave or a wealthy free woman. Paul doesn’t want their meetings to become a fashion show that exclude their poorer sisters, which is why he’s directing the richer ones to make a change and not saying anything at all what he wants the poorer sisters to wear; after all, as slaves they didn’t have the means or the choice to to make any changes to their clothing.

    It’s not immodesty that leads to higher statistics of rape, divorce, decreased self-confidence or any of the other woes society faces. Rape happens in both the most and the least covered societies – immodesty never causes it to happen. James 1:14-15 says: “… but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” Sin is a heart-problem, it exists in everyone. Jesus’ words in Matthew 27-30 were harsher: ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” In both of these cases, the point where sin begins is not in somebody elses’ actions – it is the sinner who must deny his or her own evil desires and it is the sinner who must deny the part of their body that would cause them to harm others. He does not instruct people to control the actions of others so that other people don’t cause them to sin – it’s the sinner’s responsibility to control themselves because 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

    The baffling logic you’re using is the same one that other religions use to justify the mistreatment of women in their own circles – blaming women for the failure of men. Firstly, you’ve been misinformed as to the nature of the gospel, secondly the verses from Matthew 18 you’ve used to support your assertion were talking about allowing children to come to God and twisted to mean something else entirely. Just remember to stick to Jesus’ teachings and you won’t go wrong – to treat others as you would want to be treated (the golden rule) and to love one another by showing mercy and compassion – which I don’t see in your word choice. Just remember how Jesus treated women – with the utmost respect, treating them as equals, listening to them and valuing their input – if you follow his example then you’ll see that your modesty teaching has the rotten fruit one would expect to find from a branch that isn’t connected to the true vine.

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    • Hi Jamie Carter, thanks for your comment.

      1. You’re right about the context of the verse Peter mentioned. Thanks for that additional info. As this might be the case, we must also realize that we can apply the same principle here – the principle of looking into our motivation and intent why we are wearing such dresses or items.

      2. Immodest is not the only factor, but it is one of the factors that lead to these societal problems.

      3. I agree with you that the sinners or the men should really deal with their sexual problems. I would even encourage them to do so. However, women should also be a sister enough to consider his struggling brother and not to cause of offense. I believe that is the kind of love and care Jesus wants to see from His followers.

      4. I don’t see my logic to support the mistreatment of women. My point is that women should help their brothers to overcome sin.

      5. Again, Matthew 18’s principle can also be applied in our situation. Children in the bible can also be considered as those who are weak in faith, those who can easily sin. So if you are causing them to sin, then you are causing an offense.

      6. I agree with you that we must treat women with utmost respect and we must value them. Sorry if I don’t have the luxury of time to include all aspects of immodesty. Thanks for pointing that out.

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      • i once read the testimony of missionaries in the middle east, they couldn’t understand why the wife was receiving negative attention, being cat-called, and disrespected especially since her husband was with her. It wasn’t until they reached the market and bought a head covering that she was left alone. That’s what modesty is and does, it’s rules set by the men to control the behavior and dress of women. At the worst it’s a system of oppression that gives women lists of what to wear and what not to wear – https://kateschell.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/ip-rules/ – this post covers some of the most common. Sometimes Christians say ‘Don’t advertise unless you’re in the business’ or ‘she deserved what happened to her because she wore the wrong outfit’ or ‘in that dress, she was asking for it’ or ‘don’t paint the barn unless it needs it (don’t use make-up unless you really have to.) The problem with modesty is that some of the most modest women there are still get raped all of the time. It’s not a modesty issue – but sin. It’s also subjective, what might be immodest to you might be modest to another, and what might be immodest to another may be perfectly modest to you. There’s no way a woman can dress sufficiently modesty for a street full of people and still be seen as wearing something normal. You have to let go of what you learned immodesty and modesty is before you can teach that other people have to live it – perhaps you should give it a try as well to see how it feels when you have fifty or so rules about what you can and cannot wear.

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      • Hi Jamie. 🙂 Not all traditions and man-made rules reflect the benevolent values of God. Some traditions would even go against the teaching of God. Please realize that I don’t, in no way, support such practices. Again, my point in this blog post is about biblical modesty and not the type of modesty this world might define.
        The biblical standards are not oppressive. It is even called the law of liberty by James.

        You mentioned “That’s what modesty is and does, it’s rules set by the men to control the behavior and dress of women.” To set the record straight, that’s not the type of modesty I am talking about here.

        I don’t take away the probability that even modest women get raped. So in this case, if modest women get raped, how much more are those who are not?

        Again, I did not say in my blog that immodesty is the only reason that leads a man to lust after a woman. I am saying it is one of the reasons.

        Our ultimate authority must be our God. When choosing a dress, you must ask yourself if it glories God or not. Then, after that, it is up to God to see the intent of the heart.

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  3. Hi Joshua, thanks for writing this article and sharing God’s view on this matter. I know it’s not popular, but it is no doubt biblical and right. Of course, it goes without saying that Christian men like us have a moral responsibility to properly direct and control our own focus and thoughts.

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  4. It wasn’t until my husband opened up about his own struggles that I reevaluated my clothing choices. It was such an eye opener. Thank you for sharing from your heart, and putting into a Biblical perspective! 🙂

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