Forgive and Forget: What Does the Bible Say?

You probably have heard the saying, “Forgive and forget.” Someone might even have told you to forgive people and forget about what they did to you as part of reconciling with others. However, is forgiving and forgetting really Biblical? What does the Bible say?

To forgive is a Must for Christians

There is no question that we all should forgive. All throughout the Scripture, we read how we must forgive those who have wronged and offended. Some of these Bible verses are the following:

• Ephesians 4:32: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
• Colossians 3:13: “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
• Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
• Luke 17:3-4: “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
• Matthew 18:21-22: “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'”

So, we can clearly see that we must all forgive one another. So, the bigger question is, should we also forget?

Should You Forgive and Forget?

Yes, you should forgive, but do you also need to forget? In some cases, there are offenses that you can easily let go of. You can even forget them and would only be reminded of these offenses when mentioned by others.

However, there are times when offenses are difficult to forget and even impossible. People who have deeply hurt or strongly offended you could leave a scar on your heart, which could never be erased. So, does this mean that we can forgive but we can still remember past hurts?

Let’s just be clear before we proceed any further: the term “forgive and forget” is not something we find in the Bible. However, the principle behind it is something we can support with the Scripture.

What Does it Mean to Truly Forgive and Forget?

I believe that the meaning behind the saying, “Forgive and forget” has become overly simplified and that it is misunderstood by many people. So, it is a must that we have a biblical understanding of how we should forgive others.

Notice what Colossians 3:13 tells us:

12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

The Bible tells us that we should forgive others in the same way as Christ has forgiven us. But how do Jesus (Yahshua) and God the Father forgive us?

Read the following verses to understand how God forgives us:

• Psalms 103:12: As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. 
• Micah 7:19: He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. 
• Isaiah 1:18: ¹⁸ “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool. 
• Isaiah 43:25: “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.

These verses show how God forgives us. He doesn’t only forgive, but He also forgets our sins. However, we must understand that forgetting, in this case, means to completely not know anymore of the sin because God is God. He is omnipotent and all-knowing.

How Does God Forget Our Sins?

In the context of God “forgetting” our sins, it doesn’t mean that God literally loses the memory of our transgressions. Rather, it symbolizes God’s choice not to hold our sins against us or to bring them up to condemn us. When the Bible speaks of God forgetting our sins, it emphasizes God’s forgiveness, mercy, and grace.

Isaiah 43:25 portrays God’s act of forgiveness as a deliberate choice to blot out or erase our sins, not because He forgets, but because He chooses not to hold them against us any longer.

Similarly, the imagery we read in Psalm 103:12 suggests the complete removal of our sins from God’s sight, emphasizing the thoroughness of God’s forgiveness.

When God forgives our sins and chooses not to remember them anymore, it reflects His boundless mercy and grace. It means that our sins are no longer a barrier between us and God; they are forgiven and forgotten in the sense that they no longer define our relationship with Him.

How can We Forgive and Forget Properly?

While we often hear the phrase “forgive and forget,” in reality, it’s not always easy or even possible to completely forget a hurtful experience. Our memories are powerful, and certain events can leave a lasting impact on us emotionally and psychologically.

However, forgiveness is more about releasing the negative emotions associated with a past hurt rather than erasing the memory itself. It’s a conscious decision to let go of resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge. When we forgive someone, we choose to move forward without allowing the past to continue to negatively influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we excuse or minimize the wrongdoing, nor does it always result in a complete restoration of trust or a reconciliation of the relationship. It’s about freeing ourselves from the emotional burden of carrying resentment and bitterness.

While we may not be able to forget a hurtful experience entirely, we can choose to remember it differently. Instead of dwelling on the pain and reliving the offense, we can focus on the lessons learned, the growth that resulted, and the healing that forgiveness brings.

So, while we may not be able to truly forget, we can strive to forgive, letting go of the past and embracing a future free from the chains of unforgiveness.

Is Forgive and Forget Biblical?

In summary, the term, “Forgive and Forget” isn’t something you’d find in the Bible. However, the principle is there for us to apply. We should and must forgive. However, “forgetting” is not about losing memory of the past hurt and offenses, but rather “forgetting” the negative feelings that come with it. You may not be able to forget the hurt, but you can definitely remember the lessons.

(P.S. Learning to forgive is one of the most important aspects of our Christian walk. However, if you wish to truly become zealous and blessed, I highly recommend you check out one of our best courses entitled, “7 Powerful Habits of Highly Effective Christians.” In this course, you’ll discover what it truly takes to grow closer to God and increase in your faith!)

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